So you are Getting Married?
What should you consider about your Celebrant?
A newly married couple share their experiences of the role of a Celebrant.
So you’re engaged and planning your Wedding? At this stage you are probably realising how many aspects of the wedding need to be organised .
It all becomes overwhelming very early in your decision to get legally married.
Of course there is your the clothing, colour scheme for attendants, venue, and amount of guests, affordability and date. Often the last thing to be thought about is the Celebrant who can legally officiate your Union.
It seems more and more people are choosing to solemnise their vows with a Marriage Celebrant at a location of the couple’s choice, as opposed to the traditional church wedding. For whatever reason that is, there are still many decisions to make in the lead up to deciding on which Celebrant you wish to choose to be part of your special day.
In my work as a Marriage Celebrant, I have observed the importance of supporting the couple to have a real understanding of the whole process. Guiding them with the formal aspects of the marriage but also coordinating the ceremony. In many situations the Couple have already chosen a venue and realise they haven’t found their celebrant. They see it as the last thing on the list when I personally feel it is so much more important.
As I mentioned before there are so many aspects to the planning of a Wedding Ceremony. There is of course the Wedding Celebration or Reception; however it’s the ceremony that really sets the scene for your day.
Your Wedding Ceremony is the foundation of your commitment to be legally married. There is an immense amount of power in the vows you say to each other.
Wouldn’t you want the person who provides this official aspect of your Union to have absolute integrity to the way they live so that this reflects in your commitment to each other?
So how do you chose a Celebrant and what can you expect from their service?
Your celebrant should have a sense of calmness about them, strong organisation and communication skills. Through their experiences of other weddings they have officiated and also their lived experiences in life, your Celebrant should have a myriad of ideas to support the planning. Especially if you may be struggling to pull everything together.
A celebrant tends to write a wedding ceremony a lot like writing a script for a play. Everyone has their role during the event and there is always a rehearsal and subsequently a performance, so to speak. The more the immediate family can be involved the better, such as siblings doing readings, if they are not attendants.
You could also have all parents walking your both down the aisle and pledging their support to the couple in the future.
All these things help make a Wedding not just about the Couple but the Union of families, people coming together and a brotherhood full of respect for all everyone brings.
So how does the celebrant you’ve chosen fit with all that?
Are they at ease around people?
Are they warm, encouraging and have vitality to life?
Does the way they live in their life reflect your values?
Are they respectful, well-spoken and truthful?
Do they have clear expression of the legal requirements to you?
Will they support you fully through the lead up to your Wedding Day?
On your Wedding Day will they stick to the script that you have approved previously with you Celebrant?
Lots of questions to ask yourself as you decide who will officiate your Marriage.
Your Wedding is a day to confirm and appreciate the legal commitment you wish to make to your partner, in the presence of those closest to you. It is not just one day of your relationship and not just about one or two people.
Something to ponder on as your approach this special day.
Here is a Testimonial from a couple I married in January 2019 who felt to express what they loved about the services I provide.
Would you recommend Anita's Service as a Celebrant to others?
Jack: Absolutely. Anita holds a special quality that allows your expression to be free, allowing a space for you to be yourself. She is dedicated to bringing through the essence of a couple, seeing clearly the beautiful and amazing qualities of the nearly-weds and making the process not only easy, but a delight ( because she is a delight!).
Cornelia: Yes, she provides a "no fuss" attitude that guides you to act from your own impulses, rather than follow suit. Which can be difficult considering the way Weddings are played out as a 'show' in our society, rather than the unique expressions of your relationship.
If you were the celebrant what would you do differently?
Jack: There wasn't one moment when I felt something could have different. Anita simply connected with us, on a profoundly deep level and allowed that connection to be expressed. If I were to celebrate a marriage, that's what I would focus on as well.
Cornelia: That is a difficult question to answer, as it all depends on the couple who are getting married. I believe that a celebrant's purpose is to capture the essence of the relationship and share that with the guests. And for me, I believe Anita did that. So to capture the essence of Mine and Jack's relationship, I wouldn't have done anything differently. I would have just done it from my expression.
Cornelia and Jack's Testimonial.
Cornelia: This step getting married is a pretty big one in life. You are committing to saying 'Yes', not only to one person, but to that one person in front of however many others. It is the most vulnerable I have felt. To say this is 'who I am and I love who you are' sounded like an easy thing to do and truthfully, once I got out of my own way, it was. But there are so many societal expectations of what a wedding should be like and what you should be like on your wedding day, and what you should have achieved before you get married. Even though I never played into ideas revolving around weddings, I found myself feeling easily imposed upon when surrounded by those who had/have. Anita among all this, is like a breath of fresh air. The wisdom she is connected to, reminds you that your relationship is sacred, beautiful, fun and light and your day can be just that if your follow you own impulses. As I 'm writing this, I can feel in my heart the absolute beauty that Anita is a Celebrant and in turn I'm reminded of my own beauty. That's what she does best, by simply living the magic and love that she is within us all, she reminds you that deep down you know this too.
Jack: What I'd say to recommend Anita Stanfield is that I love her. It is a truly special thing in life when you find someone that connects and truly sees you for all the amazing qualities that you are and loves you unbound. When we met for the first time to discuss the wedding, I felt like I had known Anita forever; she's one of those people. Anita very quickly begins to understand who you both are individually and as a couple and you're left feeling incredibly special and held. She genuinely loves everything about you and sees an incredible amount of inspiration in what you bring, therefore actually allowing you to bring that special spark that you have. That level of appreciation is translated through the way she supports you leading up to the day ( because heaps comes up for the couple just about to marry!) and it is expressed through the way she delivers her celebration of you. Anita brings simplicity, she brings genuine love and she brings a wealth of wisdom that she lives which ultimately deepens your relationship with your partner and yourself.
Anita Stanfield is a person who is connected to her essence, so if you wish to be yourself on your wedding day, Anita is your Celebrant.
Jack: Absolutely. Anita holds a special quality that allows your expression to be free, allowing a space for you to be yourself. She is dedicated to bringing through the essence of a couple, seeing clearly the beautiful and amazing qualities of the nearly-weds and making the process not only easy, but a delight ( because she is a delight!).
Cornelia: Yes, she provides a "no fuss" attitude that guides you to act from your own impulses, rather than follow suit. Which can be difficult considering the way Weddings are played out as a 'show' in our society, rather than the unique expressions of your relationship.
If you were the celebrant what would you do differently?
Jack: There wasn't one moment when I felt something could have different. Anita simply connected with us, on a profoundly deep level and allowed that connection to be expressed. If I were to celebrate a marriage, that's what I would focus on as well.
Cornelia: That is a difficult question to answer, as it all depends on the couple who are getting married. I believe that a celebrant's purpose is to capture the essence of the relationship and share that with the guests. And for me, I believe Anita did that. So to capture the essence of Mine and Jack's relationship, I wouldn't have done anything differently. I would have just done it from my expression.
Cornelia and Jack's Testimonial.
Cornelia: This step getting married is a pretty big one in life. You are committing to saying 'Yes', not only to one person, but to that one person in front of however many others. It is the most vulnerable I have felt. To say this is 'who I am and I love who you are' sounded like an easy thing to do and truthfully, once I got out of my own way, it was. But there are so many societal expectations of what a wedding should be like and what you should be like on your wedding day, and what you should have achieved before you get married. Even though I never played into ideas revolving around weddings, I found myself feeling easily imposed upon when surrounded by those who had/have. Anita among all this, is like a breath of fresh air. The wisdom she is connected to, reminds you that your relationship is sacred, beautiful, fun and light and your day can be just that if your follow you own impulses. As I 'm writing this, I can feel in my heart the absolute beauty that Anita is a Celebrant and in turn I'm reminded of my own beauty. That's what she does best, by simply living the magic and love that she is within us all, she reminds you that deep down you know this too.
Jack: What I'd say to recommend Anita Stanfield is that I love her. It is a truly special thing in life when you find someone that connects and truly sees you for all the amazing qualities that you are and loves you unbound. When we met for the first time to discuss the wedding, I felt like I had known Anita forever; she's one of those people. Anita very quickly begins to understand who you both are individually and as a couple and you're left feeling incredibly special and held. She genuinely loves everything about you and sees an incredible amount of inspiration in what you bring, therefore actually allowing you to bring that special spark that you have. That level of appreciation is translated through the way she supports you leading up to the day ( because heaps comes up for the couple just about to marry!) and it is expressed through the way she delivers her celebration of you. Anita brings simplicity, she brings genuine love and she brings a wealth of wisdom that she lives which ultimately deepens your relationship with your partner and yourself.
Anita Stanfield is a person who is connected to her essence, so if you wish to be yourself on your wedding day, Anita is your Celebrant.